Do you have a Facebook Filter?

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So a few weeks ago I went to an ‘outdoor cinema’ with my husband. It was a company which tours around the country showing ‘cult’ films and seeing as it was the only way I was going to get my husband to go and watch a film at the cinema, with it being outside, and also that is was Top Gun, so involving planes and flying (one of his favourite things), I booked us tickets.

Now, the British weather, I hear you say, it was outside, and it was June. I am curiously optimistic about the weather normally but did take my raincoat ‘just in case’. We spent a pleasant couple of hours drinking and eating and watching the sun set (they can’t start the film until it is totally dark otherwise you can’t see it on the screen). I am not one for selfies but I even managed to encourage my husband to take one of these, and we were enjoying a rare evening out together, just us. In the photos I did post on facebook it looked and it was gorgeous, picturesque setting, big comfy beanbags and blankets, I was all set. Cue the film, and once the people next to us stopped chatting (if they wanted to chat all the way through they should have gone to the pub, grrrrrr), I settled back to enjoy the film.

Thirty minutes in cue unforecast, unexpected torrential rain. I am not talking about a short, sharp shower but the kind which soaks you, to the skin and you feel cold, even in waterproofs. With no umbrellas allowed I put my hood up and my stoic ‘we shall not be moved’ face on. People started leaving (it really was wet) but I was determined.

Until I started getting wet from the ground up.

And the final straw was my knickers getting soaked through my trousers.

This wasn’t fun anymore.

We managed half an hour of the film we had waited all evening to see.

We went home and watched the rest in the dry, in comfort with my pj’s on and a glass of wine.

But what did my friends see on my Facebook page?

A lovely, evening, just the two of us, sans children having a great time, which we were in all honesty up until the point when the heavens opened.

They did not, however see the dash to the car in the pitch dark, so dark that at one point I ended up ankle deep in muddy water.

My point is this.

You only saw what I wanted you to see, the image I wanted to present out there at that moment in time. This is what I call a Facebook filter.

And these filters are very powerful things.

Because when we are feeling pretty crap, overwhelmed and deep down not really coping too well with life, seeing these filtered photos can really stir up some stuff inside us.

That leftoutedness

The why wasn’t I invitedness

and the

Why on earth is everyone else having such an amazing time and I am sitting there drowning my sorrows not feeling the best at all but absolutely compelled to scroll through and torture myself with all the images of how amazing other peoples lives are right now.

Except they are not that amazing, really. We all have our own battles in our life that we don’t necessary show others.

They are posting what others they want you to see, just like I did.  They are not posting the moments when the only school shorts left at 8:20am on Friday morning were the ones mid way through the cycle in the washing machine (me), or the scraping together of the lunch box which would, if inspected involve the lunch box police due the severe absence of ‘healthy food’ or, the cat coming home limping because they had been bitten by ‘something’ and being chased round the house trying to get them into the cat box to take them to the vets (also on Friday morning).

So remember this, lovely mums. My favourite evening is with my joggers on, sitting on my sofa with a glass of something just chillin’. And if it’s yours too, then that is okay. I’m not 16 any more, I don’t enjoy raucous late nights with horrendous hangovers, because I still have to get up in the morning and function with my boys. I am also not the mum who enjoys being part of a big group of people, i’ts just not my bag, and it doesn’t have to be for you either (if it is, then have fun!)

So when you are scrolling through Facebook, thinking that everyone else has the best lives ever, remember that they are only showing you the life they want you to see, not the life they actually have. and, right now, you are where you have chosen to be, and that’s okay.

Is life feeling a bit out of control right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed and resentful of everything which needs to be done, and only gets done by you? Would you like an easy opportunity to take a little bit of time out for you to improve the way you feel?  

Download my FREE busy mums reset relaxation by clicking here. Just 10 minutes long it will give you that deep breath people keep telling you to take and some much needed down time.


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