When I bought myself flowers.

Managing Frustration

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This last week has been a testing one of frustration and things happening which are out of my control, with no children involved this time!

From this most recent experience, I seriously don’t know how some businesses survive when we have been on the receiving end of the following;

A window fitter who decided that he was ‘too busy’ to fit the windows he had quoted for and after he had agreed to do the job.

Someone who was supposed to quote for chopping down a root and grinding the stump didn’t turn up, twice.

And the person who was supposed to collect our skip couldn’t because they gave him the wrong information and his lorry wasn’t big enough, leaving us in limbo.The last one really bothered me as it is right in front of my log cabin meaning that my clients have to manoeuvre around it when coming in for their sessions. Not ideal and not the way I want to portray my business.

So – husband was hiding the phone from me as I was itching to let rip about this incompetence, inefficiency and to be honest down right rudeness around just not turning up.

I think I was more indignant because I do run a business, I want my clients to receive the best possible support and service from me, and to be on the receiving end of that not happening frustrates the hell out of me.

And breathe…..

I have to admit it at that moment in time, I was royally p****ed off. One of these things is not in any way shape or form a big issue but, all combined was starting to get on my nerves (have you noticed?!)

I went out, I needed to get away from it all and get some perspective – these are little issues but I made them HUGE.


Because I have high standards and I expect others to conform to those standards.

Which they can’t, and it’s not fair to expect them too.

When I took myself away from the ‘stuff’ which is stressing me out I started to think. I have no idea what is going on right now for any of those people who have let us down this week, it is really none of my business. But their actions have resulted in me feeling absolutely rubbish, angry and fed up, not a place I, or anyone else for that matter enjoys being in.

And then I realised.

I was letting the actions of these individuals or company’s dictate the way I feel. Only I can control my thoughts and my feelings and manage my emotions, and in that moment I was letting the negative fury have a right old rampage.

It doesn’t feel nice and it spills out into other areas of my life, shouting at the children, not being able to make decisions and just feeling frazzled.

Very often I have clients who come and see me and say, if my husband, children, work colleagues change the way they speak to me treat me or understand me I would be soooo much happier.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.

You, and only you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, and in any one moment in time you govern how you think, feel and act.

So that skip driver didn’t give a monkeys that my clients can’t get into my cabin easily. He is likely to be the victim of miscommunication from his company, and likely to be just as frustrated that he can’t do his job properly and isn’t feeling great about it either. It is not going to help if I go on a big old rant, not going to help me, or him.

Once we take a step back, and look at the bigger picture, we realise that once we learn how to cope better with what is going on around us, we are much more likely to feel better inside.

So, how did I start to change the way I felt to get rid of the funk I was in?

I bought myself some flowers.

Lovely tulips – just because….

I recognised the lovely shop assistant who came to my aide when the 8 enormous cushion inserts I was trying to carry slipped onto the floor. She didn’t leave me to struggle, she was helpful and kind.

The friendly shop assistant in Waitrose who just smiled and was nice to me and wished me a good day.

The free cookie I received when I went to pick up a local order I had made to have with a cuppa to encourage me to write a review on Facebook about their service (great idea btw).

And by noticing these seemingly small, seemingly insignificant things, I started to feel better. Plus, I started to notice the nice things about the day. the sun was shining, it was nearly the weekend, my son’s party was that evening which he was uber excited about.

And honestly – whilst I am not jumping off the ceiling with excitement and happiness, in changing my approach to the situation I don’t feel so angry, so frustrated, or so controlled by other peoples actions in their lives.

Because we can’t be, it has to be the choices and decisions we make in our own lives that give us that feeling of contentment and helps us manage overwhelm and stress.

Here’s to a new, awesome week 🙂

Clare x



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