How did I know what I wanted.

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This month is the year anniversary of me leaving my part time job and focusing solely on my business, which, up until then I had been running alongside one job or another, and having 2 children.

Tough going?

Yes, always.

Juggling several different balls in the air, whatever they are is always hard, worried you might drop one, let someone down, forget something.  Stepping out in the new world of self employment, without the safety net of a monthly income was scary, I’ll admit it, and I probably took more time over it and delayed the decision because of being anxious of what might happen.  That self doubt, what if it doesn’t work, what if I can’t do what I need to do to keep the business going.  It’s just me and my passion, what if that isn’t enough?

The game changer for me came from 2 significant things happening in my life which made me sit up and take notice.  The first was training as a solution focused hypnotherapist, and understanding that it was all my anxieties and worries in my head that were stopping me.  The ‘what if’s are the part of my brain which held me back, stopped me from really giving my mind a chance to work out what I wanted, these protective thoughts were stressing me out and making the decision even more difficult.  In paying attention to what might go wrong, not having any clients to work with, not having money so freely available, I stopped paying attention to what I truly enjoyed, what truly made me happy.  I have spent my entire career working with people, listening to people, understanding and doing my absolute best to improve their situations and their lives.  I had, however been neglecting my own and I knew I could use my skills in a much more fulfilling way to help others to work out what they want in their lives, understand why anxiety is holding them back and help them make the decision which was right for them.

The second big catalyst for me was watching my beautiful friend fight bravely and courageously against the disease that is cancer.  Her life did not go the way she chose, or wanted, but she stayed strong throughout and she is my role model for leaving the what if’s behind and living life like every moment is a precious one.  She would always say to me that I did too much, spent too much time running around trying to fit everything in and sometimes I didn’t like to hear it, but it was true.  She was one of the first people I spoke to about the decision I was trying to make about leaving my job or giving up the business, the dilemma of sticking with what was safe and predictable versus something that lit a fire inside me but with a path that was unknown and scary.  When I told her that I was going to take the easy route, give up my business of supporting women with their fears and anxieties she looked at me and said ‘why would you want to do that, I tell everyone what you do, you’re great at it’.  It led me to the question, why would I give it up?  So I didn’t, and my friend is always there in the back of my mind, making sure I behave myself, not taking too much on and giving me the strength to keep going when she couldn’t fight any more. Love you and miss you always.

So what is holding you back?  What is stopping you from making a decision about what you really want?

When I work with women who are anxious and who are overwhelmed with juggling children and everything else that comes with it, shouting and feeling guilty about it, this is very often not the focus of our conversation.

What we do is go back to the beginning, focusing on what makes someone happy, what are their priorities in life, what are their reasons for getting up in the morning and motivating them to do what they do.

By breaking it down and taking some much needed time to make the decision which is right for you, things can much more easily fall into place.

If you are feeling like worry and fear is holding you back then there is a need to create the space to truly work out what is going on with someone who understands the journey you are on. I’ve been there, and I’m still here one year later, feeling the fear at times but doing it anyway and knowing that this big leap for me was the best decision I have ever made.


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