I was petrified!

Feeling the Fear

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So, we are three weeks in to a new school term and after shoe-horning the boys out of bed, getting used to all the after school stuff as well school and adding secondary school open evenings into the mix, I think we are just about there, and ready for half term!

Having one son now in year 6 (last year of primary school, gulp!) and having had to face the infamous 11 plus a couple of weeks ago, our initiation into the school year hasn’t been totally plain sailing.  Despite our best efforts not to invest any time, pressure or place any expectation on his shoulders about this test, he still displayed signs of worry over it, not being able to sleep the night before was a big clue.  I had to stay level about this. I have my own strong views about the tests and the impact on children, see my blog post ‘When I felt a failure as a mum’ by clicking here. However, on this occasion I needed to just keep my views to myself and focus on what support he needed.  We used relaxation, we used talking and we used distraction, and all of these helped him massively.  The funny thing was, on the morning of the test he was bright, smiling and happy, he said he was relieved that it was finally here and he could just get on with it!

And don’t we all feel like that sometimes?

Very often, the thought of something is worse, and more challenging than actually doing ‘the thing’. Last night I did a live class in my new Facebook Group all about sleep and how to get more of it. It is a subject I talk about all the time with the mums I support, it is often something they crave as us mums often don’t get enough of it.  I knew that my knowledge and guidance would be interesting and helpful to those who need it. However, it didn’t stop myself feeling really nervous beforehand and worrying that what I had to share would be of no interest whatsoever. That was what i call my negative self talk coming out of me, stuff I know isn’t true and when I was actually doing what I do, I knew that what I was saying was of massive benefit, especially as I had people asking questions and engaging with what I was saying, awesome feeling!

So, just like Joseph was really cool on the morning of his test, and after (we aren’t worried about the results), so was I, despite being petrified. It is when we do something a bit new, a bit different and a little bit challenging that we get the best feelings of accomplishment and pride. The most rewarding things are often not the easiest option, the least challenging path.

So my message to you lovely mums today is, if something feels tough, overwhelming and challenging, it is the thoughts whirring around your head which are often the biggest barrier to getting through it.

  • Listen to what you say to yourself and notice if that voice in your head is being your negative Nancy or moaning Minnie. This voice can only serve to make you feel worse about yourself and whatever situation you are in.
  • Getting on and pushing through something, taking action in a way you may not normally do can really give you that positive feeling, that awesomeness because you are, after all, awesome and doing a brilliant job.

I know Joseph would have done his best because he knows he can’t fail. And I couldn’t either as I was sharing my knowledge with others, being me, putting myself out there, with my cuppa and wifi issues to help others, another win win.

Do what you feel you can’t, and the results will be immense.

Have an awesome week.

Clare x

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