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LOVE YOUR LABOUR
Ways to banish your childbirth fears
Labour is not something to love, it is a ‘labour of love’ to give birth to your baby. This is normally a pregnant woman’s response to the phrase ‘Love your Labour’, with disbelief, suspicion and ‘what sort of pain relief allows you to do that?’ The fact of the matter is, there are ways you can love your labour, with the same intensity as you connect with your unborn child, without it being a test of endurance.
Relax, relax, relax
How many times have you heard while you are pregnant, ‘avoid stress, keep calm, and relax’? How many of us actually understand what true relaxation means? In reality we all live busy, stressful lives and this doesn’t stop when you are pregnant. You might not find it easy to stop and take time out to enjoy a feeling of peace and relaxation, you may not know how, but really, this is the best gift you can give your unborn baby. A calm mum equals a calm baby, it is that simple. Pregnancy pilates, yoga or holistic therapies such as reflexology or massage can have a significant and positive impact on your body and mind and really help you connect with your baby.
How does this help during labour? The cumulative effects of taking time out to relax can teach your body how to relax, and let go, meaning that when someone tells you to relax and keep calm, you will understand what that means for you. Build on this gradually throughout your pregnancy to allow your body and mind to get used to switching off, and letting go, and you will be amazed at the impact which this has.
Avoid the Negative
How many people you have met since your announced your pregnancy have shared their difficult, and sometimes traumatic birth stories with you? How many childbirth programmes have you watched which portray birth as a dramatic, emergency event, with blue flashing lights and people running down corridors? Do you think that this will be your experience or, if this is your second or subsequent baby, was it yours? Never underestimate the impact the drama of someone else’s experience can have on your state of mind. What you put into your subconscious mind by listening to these stories and watching these dramatic birth events affects your body. Therefore, if you tell yourself that your birth is going to be negative, painful and a difficult experience, chances are that it will be. How many people that you have met have shared their amazing birth experiences, did you listen, and did others comment that they were just ‘lucky’ to have not experienced the ‘trauma’ of childbirth?
Birthing your baby is not designed to be traumatic; it is our mind telling our body which makes it so. Grantly Dick-Read in his book ‘Childbirth without Fear’ states:
‘In no other animal species is the process of birth apparently associated with any suffering, pain or agony, except where pathology exists or in an unnatural state, such as captivity.’ – Dr Grantly Dick-Reed
How would it feel to surround yourself with positive images and stories of childbirth? (they don’t make good television by the way) The more you cut out the negatives in your life, the more you are able to focus on how lovely, calm and natural your labour will be, and yes, it can be like that.
Focus and dream
Everyone is individual; we have all been brought up differently, with different life experiences. Have your own parents shared your birth story? What was it like and how did it feel to hear about how you were born? Forget other people’s stories and experiences, they are theirs and not yours. What is your perfect birth, how would you like to give birth to, connect with, and bond with your baby? How do you imagine your family unit to be after your baby has been born?
Daydreaming about what we would really love to happen for ourselves during our pregnancy and birth is one step closer to enjoying your labour and looking forward to the experience. What you focus on is where the magic happens, how magical would it be to have the birth you secretly dreamed of rather than the birth everyone said you were going to have? Don’t be afraid to put those images in your mind, it is your birth, your baby, and ultimately your experience.
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