Part 1
I write a lot about teenagers, both from a parents, and a professionals perspective. However, my perspective is through adult eyes, and one remembering her own teen journey from nearly 30 years ago!
The world has changed beyond recognition since then, as we would expect it to, and my thought was that I wanted to share some perspectives of young people living through their teen years right now, and the impact this world has on them and their mental health.
So…introducing the journey of this 15-year-old teenager. For confidentiality reasons I am going to call her Megan, which is not her real name.
She shares an introduction to her journey of having mental health challenges below, in her words, and from her perspective. More sharing of her story will follow this one, as this young person is passionate about writing about her mental health struggles in the hope it will help others;
Hi! My names Megan. I am 15 and this is my story. I want to share my story to inspire young people to speak up and to get parents to check up on their children to make sure their not struggling under their smiling face like I was.
I started feeling anxious around the end of year 9 (only last year). It didn’t happen very often but I would suddenly have a tight chest and I would start shaking and breathing heavier. I had no idea why this was happening to me so I didn’t tell anyone. I tried to tell myself I was just tired because it was almost the end of the school year. But once I started year 10 things took a turn for the worst. I couldn’t get out of bed, I hated the idea of going to school, I struggled almost every lesson to keep focused and not get upset or stressed. It was honestly so awful for months. The biggest reason my anxiety got worse was because there wasn’t an adult in my school who I felt like I could talk to. It got to the point my best friend had to talk to my head of year for me because I was having panic attacks about trying to tell someone. If you only learn one thing today I want it to be that you are not alone and that you should speak up. I honestly feel like if my best friend hadn’t spoken up for me that day, I wouldn’t be here writing this now.
I can’t say I am fully healed or that I don’t have a problem with my anxiety anymore because I still do but what I can say is that it is definitely happens less frequently. I know that speaking up about how you are feeling seems like the most difficult thing in the world but I can promise that you will feel better off after.
Some of you may be thinking why is she giving advice when she wasn’t the one who spoke up and that is very valid. What my best friend did was she saved me. If you don’t speak up, things will get worse no one wants that. I know it’s hard and I felt like a coward for ages, I also felt that my problems weren’t valid enough to take time from my head of year which is so wrong. Everyone is valid and everyone’s opinion should be heard!
For parents if you believe your child may be struggling, please just sit down with them and have a conversation with them. Give them a chance to tell you how they are feeling and what they need from you to help them. It feels amazing knowing that your parents supports you. You may think that you’ll be the first one they talk to and unfortunately that may not be the case. Most people I’ve talked to don’t believe their parents will love them the same. So please, make them aware you care as much as possible! If you only take one thing from this blog it should be that you are not alone and I encourage you to speak up and get things sorted sooner rather than later before things get worse.
Thank you for your time,
Love Megan
Part 2
Let’s be honest. Speaking up about your mental health is very difficult. I felt ashamed that I was feeling the way I was. I felt like a coward. I thought that no one would care because worse things have happened to other. But let me tell you, I was so wrong.
- I wish someone had told me i wasn’t alone. Once I opened up to people, I soon realised that many others have been through similar things to me. Even if they hadn’t they still supported me in choosing what I did next.
- I personally believe that teens don’t talk about what they are experiencing for lot of different reasons. Some hope that things will get better by itself. Some believe that they are making it all up and other people have it worse. Some feel like a coward and are ashamed about how they are feeling. The list goes on… to anyone reading who is currently struggling, I want you to know these things:
- you’re not alone
- your friends do care about you and will listen to you when you need
- your opinions are very valid and you should definitely speak up about it.
- I know you’re afraid of what people may think about you but you shouldn’t be. I know that may seem challenging but your main priority is to help yourself be better and become the best version of yourself.
- I believe that schools are not provided with enough support to help teens who are struggling with their mental health; which is why I think so many teens struggle to tell someone how they are feeling. One of the biggest issues teenagers have is that they don’t have a teacher/ adult in school that they trust enough to talk to. This makes it more difficult because we then keep everything inside for too long which makes everything 10x worse. Teachers and professionals should make themselves more aware to teens and show them that they can be trusted, even when people don’t believe them. Over time, they will start to realise that they can trust their teachers which will result in them opening up more.
- In terms of support for someone’s mental health day by day, I believe that one thing teachers can do is make themselves more available. When I am having a bad day, I always feel like the trusted adult in my school is too busy to chat to so I keep everything inside. If there were times during break or lunch times or shortly after school that people could attend in school to discuss anything, I think this would help teenagers open up quicker rather then them bottling everything up for ages.
Knowing that people are on your side does make a massive difference to us. Everyone has good and bad days, some people have more bad than good. Just be aware of your friends and be there for them when they need you. For teachers/ adults, make yourself available so teens can talk to you when they need.
Thank you for reading x