The announcement of a social media ban for under 16s has dominated headlines. But as I’ve listened to the debate, I’ve found myself thinking less about the ban itself, and more about the teenagers who are already growing up online.
Like many parents, my first reaction was simple.
If it keeps children safer online, surely that’s a good thing.
But the more I’ve thought about it, and the more I’ve considered the teenagers and parents I support every week, the more I’ve realised that my thoughts are a little more complex than that.
The question isn’t simply whether the social media ban is right or wrong. It’s whether we’re preparing older teenagers for the digital world they’ll inevitably return to.
What do older teenagers need from us if we genuinely want to prepare them to navigate the digital world safely?
For me, the answer isn’t simply a ban. It’s helping them develop the understanding, confidence and digital literacy they’ll need long after the ban has ended.
Why so many parents welcome the social media ban
There is no doubt that social media has become one of the biggest challenges facing parents in this digital age. We have witnessed devastating consequences when young people, without the maturity or insight to manage what is often adult content, fall prey to unscrupulous individuals, harmful communities and algorithms designed to keep them engaged.
I completely understand why parents of younger children are welcoming this decision. Many have spent years trying to delay smartphones and social media, having observed the negative consequences these devices can have on developing brains.
It is a tough one to parent, so the relief must be palpable.
And I celebrate the positive impact of the ban for you and your children.
Where my perspective differs
Where my point of view differs is not in wanting to keep young people safe.
We all want that.
It is in how we support older teenagers who are already living in a digital world.
For those older teens who have already developed habits, friendships and ways of communicating online, I do not believe this ban alone is enough. Nor do I believe that all under 16s should be treated as one group without considering age, brain development and emotional maturity.
Instead, I see an opportunity.
An opportunity to teach digital literacy.
An opportunity to help teenagers understand the realities of the online world, to question what they’re seeing, recognise when they’re being influenced, and build the confidence to make informed choices for themselves.
Because when they turn 16 they will be re-exposed to these platforms and everything they have to offer.
If they have not had the opportunity to develop the skills to navigate them safely, will they be any better prepared?
This is where I believe parenting in a digital world remains just as important as ever.
Understanding the teenage brain
The ban fails to fully recognise the realities of the teenage brain. Adolescence is a time when young people naturally pull towards developing their own identities, preferences and choices, which do not always align with the adults in their world, and neither should they.
Some teenagers will inevitably look for ways around the ban. If that happens, they may become more vulnerable because those conversations are happening out of sight.
At the same time, I think we should also be asking where the pressure is on the technology companies themselves to take responsibility for the way their platforms are designed to keep vulnerable young people engaged.
What can parents of older teenagers do?
If you are a parent of an older teenager, especially one who already has an online presence, don’t assume that once social media is switched off everything will become easier.
Because, in my opinion, it won’t.
For younger children, there is truth in the phrase, “You don’t miss what you never had.” Delaying access to smartphones and social media is likely to offer them greater protection, particularly if they have never become reliant on these platforms in the first place.
But if you are a parent of an older teen who will be impacted by this ban, get curious.
Get curious about:
- How your teenager uses social media.
- Whether it is where they communicate with friends.
- Whether it is where they feel part of a community.
- Whether they have an online presence that is important to them.
For some young people, particularly those who are neurodiverse, social media has become an important way of self-regulating and processing after busy days or when they are experiencing sensory overload. I am not saying this is the preferred way, but for some it has become an important part of how they manage their daily lives.
The answers to these questions will help you understand how your teenager experiences the digital world, how they may be impacted by the ban, and how likely they might be to look for ways around it.
Please never think, “My child wouldn’t do that.”
Many teenagers are far more capable than we give them credit for.
We are all hoping, none more than I, that this ban will improve young people’s wellbeing. I genuinely hope it does.
But for some older teenagers, the short-term impact may be very different as they adapt to rules imposed on them without feeling that their own views, experiences or needs have been considered.
The conversation doesn’t end with a ban
For me, this has never been about being for or against the ban.
It is about recognising that a ban on its own will not prepare older teenagers for the online world they will inevitably enter.
Helping our teenagers develop digital literacy, recognise manipulation, understand the impact of social media on their wellbeing, and know how to keep themselves safer online will always matter.
As analogue parents raising a digital generation, we cannot have all the answers.
But we can stay curious, keep the conversation going, and help our teenagers build the understanding and confidence they’ll need long after this ban has ended.