‘You’re a nutter’
‘You are mad’
‘Why?!’
‘What’s the point?’
Just some of the many comments I have received since I started open water swimming last October and have continued to develop it as a true passion in my life. A couple of weekends ago I took part in an inflatable animal swim in a local lake. Doing exactly what it says on the tin, swimming in the water with a giant inflatable animal. Haven’t laughed so much in a long time.
The photos were posted, people spotted me, and the inevitable questions came. One, in particular from a family member, ‘why?!’ which prompted me to write this message.
My initial reaction was ‘’why not!?’ and then I thought about the why. And it was an easy answer. When do we ever get a chance to do something just for the sake of it, without purpose, without reward and without recognition? When, as adults do we actually do things we want to do without caring what others think, just to be silly?
Now, your idea of fun may not be getting into an ice cold lake on a Sunday morning and that is okay, but the point is we need to start to respect what others do without feeling we need to be doing it ourselves otherwise it is not worth doing.
Everyone’s reasons for making choices in their lives come from different standpoints, they are all unique and individual like we are. I for one have met a lovely community of women who choose to do what I do, but all for very different reasons, and they just don’t care about the ‘status’ or the ‘posturing’ which takes place so often in our society.
I am pretty immune to being called a ‘nutter’, I have a pretty quirky personality and a sense of humour that people don’t always get, but the language used by others to describe my choices can sometimes be a little hurtful, and if I wasn’t in a community of supportive people, that self-doubt which comes from other peoples judgments may have swamped me.
One thing which does spur me on more than anything is the fact my boys love hearing about my swims, we have a laugh but they don’t make fun, they don’t think I am ‘mad’, they just see it for what it is, and I am proud of them for that. Because to be non-judgemental in today’s society can be immensely difficult it seems, when something is undertaken that others don’t feel in step with.
I am writing this message today as a reminder to myself as well as others that our throw away comments might seem just that, throw away, but they can stick and they can resonate with more challenging parts of ourselves. For me I choose to rise above them, and writing helps me process those experiences, but don’t forget that those you choose to pass comment on may then choose to go in a different direction because they are finding it tough to tread their own path.
So, my message today is. Even if you don’t understand someone’s journey, their choices, or their decisions, be supportive and encouraging. We can be curious but in an interested way, not in a ‘throwing our hands up I don’t have a clue why you are doing this’ kind of way. We have no idea what is going on for others in their lives, and that thing they do may be keeping them going more than we would ever realise.
Love Clare x