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Are we living fake lives?
Over Christmas I took a Facebook break, a complete Facebook break, for TWO WEEKS. It was lovely, it meant that I left my phone in my bedroom (I was with my family so who else needed to get in touch urgently) and I loved every minute of my time without being glued to a screen.
I definitely felt myself relaxing more, switching off more and really engaging with everyone, and everything around me.
I did not need to tell everyone in my Facebook world what an amazing time I was having because they don’t need to know, and, in the nicest possible way, probably aren’t really that bothered.
That doesn’t offend me.
I wasn’t really bothered about knowing, in that moment, what an amazing time everyone else was having either, knowing I would find out when I actually saw and spoke to the people I cared about after the event.
You can actually have a conversation without saying – ‘oh yeah, I saw that on Facebook’.
It totally intrigues me, this posting out our whole lives on social media for everyone to know about.
But it’s not our whole lives, is it?
It’s not the part where your children are calling you the worst mum ever for not letting them have cheerios instead of Weetabix for breakfast.
When you discover that yesterdays lunchbox is still in the school bag when you go to make the lunch for that day.
When you son refuses to eat his dinner because the sausages aren’t the right colour
When you lose your rag at 11:30pm because your oldest can’t sleep and you switch on the light and I tell him to ‘have a party’ and not bother sleeping because who needs sleep anyway? (not my finest hour).
When you have a complete meltdown because you left your children with your parents and you didn’t want to leave them because you miss them (I know!!)
Seriously, seeing other people’s photos of what a great time they are having doesn’t make me think, wow they are having an amazing time! It makes me think, what is their motivation for posting them?
I have so many mums I support who are struggling because of these ‘fake lives’ and pretense which are put out on Facebook. The nastiness behind comments, the ‘look at my life because I am drinking fizz with all these amazing people’ type posts which can really bother ‘us mums’ when we are having a tough time but can’t always admit it.
Yep and the bitchy response is, well don’t look or don’t be friends with those people. Not always possible in the real world.
But when you are feeling on the floor with exhaustion, lacking confidence and feeling like everything is running out of control, these posts make you feel even more crap than you already do and it feels like EVERYONE is having a much better life and you are just getting ‘left behind’.
They really, really do not convey the whole picture, just what that particular person wants you to see.
And believe it or not, this environment can be really damaging to our health, and well-being.
My tip – step away from the social media app, be social not boastful. Lighten the mood and share some real life stuff, not the stuff which is all about your amazing life and your amazing friends.
Remember photo albums, let’s go back to that. You can still create memories but just in private, not as a public showcase, documented for all to see.
Take a social media break and see how you feel, lets stop getting absorbed in other people lives and go live our own because we rock!
Love Clare x
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